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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?


GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not. The chicken is either against us or
for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.


JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I
am now against it!


RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The
chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV!


PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross
the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How
much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
your money, money the government took from you to
build a road for chickens to cross.


MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order to the Farmer's Market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious! ?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your
face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'.
That's what they call it: the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."


DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.


MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.


GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together - in peace.


ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.


RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?


CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.


SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.


BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook - and
internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.


ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?


AL GORE
I invented the chicken!


THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the
chicken:
THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross
the road, and there was much rejoicing.


COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?


DAN RATHER
Undeniably, and confirmed by evidence whose
authenticity I can attest, the chicken crossed the
road to weasel his way into the Texas Air National
Guard, to avoid military service in Vietnam.

HOMER SIMPSON:

Mmmm, chicken!



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