I do agree with Bobshike, but I also do agree with Guiseppi. What Guiseppi said was true, she did, in a way, murder an innocent unborn child. But in saying "people who commit suicide are selfish" I totally disagree. Okay, it does stop the person's pain but cast pain upon others, but some things are too much to keep going for.

About Toni:
1) She was pregnant, the baby's father ran away when she told him.
2) Her dad left her when she was only young, and she was left with a young mother who didn't know how to bring up, and who, towards the end of Toni's life didn't want to know her.
3) Since she was about 14 she had been used by boyfriends. By that I mean that the people who she truly loved the most treated her like shit - mostly because she was a depressant (I think that's the right word).
4) She basicly had no money due to the rent costs of the flat she was living in.

She was not selfish. I believe that she did not want to open her eyes one day to a child with no father, not enough money to support the child and no family support.
Also, she probably did not want the child to grow up in the same conditions as she did.

Bobshike was right in saying that this map is dedicated to all the "Toni"s in the world. I made it to make people think more if they are ever in a situation of great depression, to the extent of suicide, they can look to this and maybe think again.


Selfish people, as Guiseppi put it, are the ones who are 'Suicidal' not Suicidal. The people who are 'Suicidal' are the ones who are depressed, yes, but are 'Suicidal' to get some respect, or to be aknowledged - the selfish ones. I, myself, admit to being 'Suicidal'; I went through quite a hard patch of depression from September until December last year.
The people who are genuinely Suicidal are the ones who have truly given up all hope - like Toni had.

It takes self-respect to be selfish. Self-respect doesn't exist to the ones who commit suicide. - Thats my opinion anyway.

--

As for what friek said, I do agree, and I do have doubts, but in all honesty I have very many maps, and putting hours upon hours of work into 'good' maps is something which isn't allowing me to live life to the fullest.
I spent the longest I have ever put into map making on this map. Not only making it fully possible, but making it something special to get the point across.

As I said you may see a few maps from me in the future, but for now this is, if not the end, a very long break away for me.

--

Anyway, to keep spirits high, anyone want to go for all gold?

All I really meant was that I know if I lost a son/daughter/close friend, I would be absolutely devastated, and although life would go on, I would never look at it quite the same way. If I lost one of those people to suicide, however, I would feel 10 times worse, because not only would I have lost someone close to me, I would also feel guilty that I didn't prevent it, and I would be haunted with that feeling until I, myself, died. I just think she was very selfish for not taking that into consideration, and also for taking an innocent life with her. And to what bobshike said, she DID have time to think about it. In masterjmd's description, he states that Toni made everyone around her hate her for the entire month before she killed herself. Surely this wasn't just for kicks, she knew she was going to kill herself, and had an entire month to reconsider, but she never did, not even once. That's really all I meant last night.

RIG Toni.
RIP unborn baby.

quitting what u love doing is not the answer masterJMD.. maybe it is just a game that people enjoy playing But why reflect tonis decision."I should be living life to the fullest I can" well i aggree. life is short and you should live life to the fullest... but what are you doing now.. are u living life to the fullest or reading this message. Nmaps are not a waste of life. they are not pointless. yes you only use them for fun and enjoyment. but so is anything worth while in life quitting this would symbolise your fear and you would be no better than toni. well i know quiting numa is very minor compared to killing yourself. but still quitting what you love is not the answer. if your quitting becaus u are bord of doing it i can understand that but quitting because of fear of not living life to the fullest is wrong .doing what u love IS living life to the fullest.. so before quitting do what toni should have done .. think things over before you do. if you dont take this into consideration and still decide to leave then farewell.. i along with many will miss you..


RIP. toni and unborn.

Guiseppi, what you sad is philosophically correct, but not psychologically. We all know, without a shadow of doubt, that she killed herself and another; but we as humans, can't take things into consideration. For example, something in society must have caused all that stress into her. It is not completely her fault, it is also the fault of (specific individuals in) society. But within itself, the point of view you presented, would be true if Toni had time to think about what she was doing. I'm sure she didn't because what you said doesn't hold true to her or MasterJmd. The moral of the story is, both, you and the sympathizers, are correct in what they are saying (so you can happily hold your believes and the others can theirs).

About the dedication, though, I would say that MasterJmd has taken into account all "Toni"s of the world. Why? Because if her feels sorry for this girl he never met, he of course would to others. All in all, we do learn a lesson from here: we, in fact, learn several things.

1) Always think, however deep stress you are in, about what you are doing.
2) Try to help you friends out. And if you see them in a situation similar to that of Toni's, give special attention to them.
3) Never be very sarcastic.
4) And last, be respectful to ALL things.

If these rules were applied to Toni, then I'm sure she would still be here. However, her loss is not a waste. It makes things present to us that we never saw before. Toni allowed us to think about our daily lives and how we should treat others. So now that she is permanently gone, don't let her spirit be gone: Respect everything!

But I have finally developed the courage to say it, and I think it has to be said. Toni does not deserve to have a map dedicated to her, or anything dedicated to her. People who commit suicide are selfish, and she was no exception. They make others miserable just so they can get over problems they have in their lives that can be fixed through therapy and other things. Why should she be positively recognized for hurting others? That doesn't make much sense to me. And the worst part is, she didn't just kill herself, she took another human life as well. Because she was pregnant, she killed two people and not just one. She is a murderer. No beating around the bush, that's murder. Killing another human is murder, and that's exactly what she did. So I don't see why she is getting so much positive attention for having such a negative affect on people, including masterjmd, who is ending his mapping career because of her. Now please, someone, anyone, feel free to dispute this point, and/or call me a jerk, but I stand by my opinion. It isn't meant to be offensive to anyone, it's just what I believe.

Sorry for the excedingly large amount of o's...
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON'T LEAVE!
RIP...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

know how it feelz
RIP Toni

...

RIP

to Toni's friend

oops...

Stop whining, I am sure that it was NOT your fault that your friend did that. Please think of me saying this with a soft tone, because thats how I feel it. What's been done has been done, your tears wont change reality. What you need to do is think of something else, and get on with life. If you try hard enough, maybe you will see Toni in your dreams. I've never met anyone who commited suicide (if you know what I mean), but death of a personal friend or loved one is very hard to go through. I had to endure it three times. Be thankful for what you have, have fun, and soon, or not, when you die, you might see your friend in heaven (if you dont believe in it, sorry). All I have left to say after all of that is that since your friend died, you shouldn't commit suicide also. Think of how Master JMD would feel...the same way that you feel right now. So get up and live your life, and try not to think about it.

My regrets, 99TURTLE99

P.S. sorry if that paragraph didnt help...

i understand where you are coming from, someone at my school comitted suicied resently. I agree with you decition, and i hope you get everything you want from it. but making maps can be fun, and also part of your life.

As for the map, I tried to put all of what I have learned into it. Even though it only uses gold and mines, I think it offers quite the fun challenge. I admit to having spent a good 10 or so hours making maps but then scrapping them because I didn't think it was the best I could've achieved. This one was the second best, after making one that I thought was better and accidently pressing Tab + Q loosing all my work.

I admit to wording the maps description to give more of an effect on emotion; something that my english teacher says I'm good at. But nevertheless all of what I said is true, and I've spent most of today trying to stop my friend from blaming herself for what Toni did.


As for my Atw series, as Guiseppi mentioned, it is a shame to just leave them, but I do have my reasons, sorry to disapoint. If anyone wants to continue the series then feel free to, I won't mind.

Oh, and _Sketch, I think you have met the wrong person, sorry.

And also, to the people who have said that they will miss me, I am not going anywhere as I said in the maps description, I just will no longer be a map maker of Numa. Even though it has been great fun and so forth.

I just realized! That means that ATW in 80 maps will be left unfinished. :-( And I noticed that no one has commented on this level yet, so as for the level itself, it is absolutely incredible, and only saddens me more about your departure. Anyways, once again, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you have a wonderful, happy, healthy life.

This one has probably been the one to sadden me the most. You were an absolutely wonderful addition to NUMA, and I know we will all miss you with all of our hearts. While I am not happy about your decision, I stand by it fully. My heart goes out to you. Take care.

bad. Not to be disrespectful, but that sounds like a great way to start a book, like one that Im reading.

My regrets...

and so will she.

RIP Toni.

that was a bit heavy.

Really sad to see you leave. You were one of my favorite authors. Thanks for the inspriation. Also sorry for what happened.

RIP Toni

That that happened. I'm also sorry to seee you leave. You've contributed so much to this community. Please visit us sometime in the near future.

See ya, man.

RIP Toni.

and i met you once in real life, you probably don't remember me it was at dawson video making camp anyway sad to see you leave.

:'( :'( :'( :'(
ure maps were great man
hope u get over it

Toni RIP

I feel for you.
That's a terrible thing to happen to someone so young.
I'll definately miss you and your maps, you've put alot into this community.
We won't forget.

I sometimes think about making maps, and whether it's a waste of time.
I don't think it is.
I'm creating something for others enjoyment as well as my own.
I do enjoy this, and I don't think that I'm being wasteful.

But I'm definately sorry to see you go.
Take care, stay healthy and live life to the fullest, like you said you would.

Peace out.

your maps are wonderful and are a great addition to this community.

RIP