The key with this is that you have some kind of a theme you've developed upon instead of just having an array of spontaneous thoughts that are all just smashed together. In terms of gameplay you still have quite a way to go but you'll ultimately hone this through practice, and I'm not entirely convinced that you playtested the map as throughly as you could have done, as the levels are way too difficult (and also too repetitive in the case of the bottom two - try to include more variety like you have in the third) to clear in a single run without having to spend an unwarranted amount of time on doing so. However, these are obviously things you should be trying to improve in the long run, so there's no need at all to be intent on doing all of them flawlessly within your next coupla maps. Take it slow!

That being said, this is a great improvement so keep it up; just remember to take the time to refine.